101Things Hermione Granger Wishes She'd Never Seen
by quik-wit
Summary: And 4 That She Could See Over and Over and Never Enjoy Any Less


1. A part of Severus Snape that should never ever see the light of day (honestly, they should censor those pensives!)  
2. The third floor broom closet on a Friday night  
3. Hagrid without a beard (courtesy of Norbert, well Norberta but we didn't know that at the time).  
4. Ron on an empty stomach  
5. My hair in the morning  
6. Draco Malfoy without his shirt on (it wasn't bad, really, but now I can't quit thinking about it)  
7. Pansy Parkinson's G-string when she bends over to pick up her books (it was Malfoy's fault, he bumped into her, he probably even did it on purpose! That probably isn't on his 101 Things I Wish I'd Never Seen List!)  
8. Dumbledore in a Speedo (don't ask)  
9. Crabbe's hand slowly going down Millicent Bullstrode's back and she does absolutely nothing about it (not even wretch!)  
10. A 'P' on an OWLS report (it wasn't mine, thank gosh, it was Ron's but it was still scary)  
11. My arse growing a long furry tail (it is more terrifying than it sounds!)  
12. The Patil twins matching puce bras through white shirts at a rainy Quidditch match.  
13. Ron getting Avada Kedavra'ed (no it didn't really happen, it was in a dream)  
14. My life flash before my eyes (it was very... green)  
15. Draco smirking at me (when I can't figure out why he's smirking)  
16. Whatever it is Malfoy was smirking about in #15 (trust me)  
17. A pair of bright pink hand cuffs in Ginny's school trunk (erm... yeah)  
18. Professor Umbridge's bare backside (that's why no one ever heard of how she was found after the centaurs carried her off, the mental scarring was be tremendous)  
19. Harry snogging Ginny, or would it be the other way around? (this could also fall under #2 sometimes)  
20. Grease from Snape's hair drip into Harry and Ron's potion causing it to explode.  
21. The ground from three hundred feet up (that's why I don't fly anymore… *shudder*)  
22. Ron snogging Lavender and vice versa (another possible #2)  
23. Draco and Pansy snogging (I don't ever want to see their tongues doing that again) (a third possible #2)  
24. Professor Flitwick tall, so weird and wrong

25. Seamus sticking his grubby fingers up his nose and retrieving a large blue booger from the unknown (and then he ate it!)

26. Lavender's butt (honest to Merlin there was hair there)

27. Ron's room when he is searching for the sandwich his mom made him the day before (boxers with mold on them hit me…. MOLD!)

28. Blaise Zabini when his dress robes mysteriously flew up, which had nothing to do with Harry or Ron (no matter what Mal-ferret says), sadly the poor bloke was hoping to get lucky that night too and so had decided to go commando

29. Fred with a stomach of a pregnant woman (new product testing)

30. Fred and George sleeping in the same bed in nothing but briefs (we just ran out of space, nothing dirty!)

31. A small whip fall out of Ginny's bag after a trip to Hogsmead (I decided to not ask)

32. My mom singing and dancing like she was Freddy Mercury (but only incredibly worse)

33. Draco Malfoy lipping what appeared to be 'I love you', but really was 'Elephant Juice' (I thought he was professing his undying love for me so I hexed him, and had to serve detention with him)

34. Harry touching Ron's nipple (Ron had shaved it and was allowing, *coughmakingcough*, him to touch it to feel how, and I quote, "Incredibly bloody awesome!" it was)

35. The muggle movie 'The Hills Have Eyes' (I was terrified of Draco for weeks... him being an inbred child and all)

36. Professor Trelawney's face (mostly just her eyes really)

37. Part of a nude Quidditch match (Unfortunately, Harry's mouth got talking and lost a bet to a certain Slytherin, whose name starts with D, and ends in RACO!)

38. Ginny and Ron fighting like a boy and a girl (Only Ron was the girl and Ginny, the boy.

39. Two huge girls from Hufflepuff grinding on each other (Hogwarts is still suffering from aftershocks)

40. Ginny came into our dorm at 2 in the morning wearing fishnet stockings.... (I didn't even ask)

41. Trelawney wearing a halter top with no bra (eww!)

42. A poster with my face on it that said, "Stranger Than Granger? We think not! If you prove you are (which is extremely hard), your award will be a Poster similar to this one with your face on it. See Draco Malfoy for details" (of course it had a permanent sticking charm on it, so I covered it in muggle paint…. Haha Malfoy owned!)

43. Luna Lovegood's drawings of nargles. I would much rather imagine them.

44. Draco's chest inches from my face two times as I exited my room on the train. And he called me a stalker...

45. The tree I helped plant by the Quidditch pitch dead. What makes it worse is that no animals could have come near it and the Slytherin team had practice reserved the past three days

46. A circle of first year girls giggling and talking about Draco and Harry in ways I never knew existed (maybe that's a thing I wish I'd never heard…. I should make a list of those too)

47. A sketch of me as a weird beaver-me combo creature thing (not a _good_ sketch but still)

48. Dumbledore laughing with Harry and then snotting himself... I think Harry might still be finding boogers in his hair to this day

49. the sad little dead toad in my note book… Malfoy put it there… I never did tell Neville

50. My mom and dad creeping to their room with a whip cream can... I had nightmares that night... well once I got to sleep.

51. A Blast Ended Screwt mercilessly overcoming Ron as he ate his cheese. His excuse of not defending himself was that his hands were full and he didn't want to drop his precious cheese (having read the L.O.T.R. series, I burned the cheese in the Gryffindor common room).

52. Draco Malfoy using his dark magic to grow Harry a uni-brow (I didn't mean to laugh and encourage Malfoy...)

53. My ex-boyfriend (you may know him as Victor Krum) sending Draco to figure out why I ended it... I almost ended Draco's life!

54. Ravenclaws having a quiz-busters day and the day carries on in silence

55. We had watermelon for lunch and Neville asked me if it was okay if he ate a seed. Draco Malfoy said that he needs to be rushed to Madame Pomfry to get his head chopped off. Apparently it was the only cure.

56. Fred telling the French Girls at Bills wedding that they could ride his broomstick. After hearing this I plugged my ears and erased it partially from my memory.

57. Harry trying to strike a conversation with Ron, when Molly is putting a roast on the table.

58. Ginny walking off with Dean at Hogsmead. After those other things, I'm a little edgy when she is with boys.

59. Luna Lovegood muttering something like, "Mshphhh... kliph....sayeks!" Later she proclaimed it was a prophecy in the language of another one of her imaginary creatures

60. Trelawney raising her hands in mid-speech revealing a large mass of hair either collecting or growing in her armpit

61. Professor Sprout bending over and uprooting mandrakes while revealing an overly gemmed thong

62. Draco's patronus (I had always hoped it would be a mouse, ironically it's a ferret)  
63. A shrine made for Severus Snape by Luna

64. The huge Hufflepuff girls jumping into the black lake, Hagrid's hut was flooded for hours.

65. A mountain troll with one of its crossed eyes fixed on me

66. Harry tripping over the Burrow hose and falling on Ron who was standing on the slip 'n slide I had brought (I'll just say that it was very Brokeback Mountain)

67. Pansy doing Pilates in a push up bra (There is no need to look hot when you are attempting to get hot! And oh Merlin the things falling out)

68. Draco's eyes wandering down as Daphne Greengrass walks past him (pervert… no, I was not jealous)

69. Ron putting bat's wings in his final potion, and it bursting into flames (how do you get the ingredients wrong? there is a list of them!)

70. Crabbe trying to be gangsta (puh-lease whyte-boi playa!)

71. A defenseless first year vomiting because of Fred and Georges tests

72. The boy's lavatory in the Gryffindor dorm (even the House Elves can't make it be clean)

73. The wound on Draco's chest after Harry 'Sectasempra'-ed him (Sure he's a jerk but it was ghastly and looked like it really hurt!)

74. Mrs. Weasly when Fleur is around (Her face may be funny, but her cooking and general 'tude go right down hill)

75. A moving tattoo of a snake on my arse (read _lioness diaries_ to find out more)

76. Those darn stupid buck/beaver-teeth Malfoy cursed me with

77. Dark curly hair collecting around the bathroom shower drain (not mine… *shudders in disgust*)

78. Parati bending over with a too big swimsuit and too small of a chest

79. My deranged father coming out of his room early in the morning... well I will say that he was not exactly completely dressed (I hate Christmas at my house)

80. My lovely grandmother dropping the back of her towel as she got the pizza from the pizza boy. Why she had to get out of the shower and not let me answer the door, I have no idea.

81. A group of Slytherin boys who were following their 'ruthless' (more like retarded!) leader (aka Draco!) and they decided it would be "bloody hilarious" if they mooned me (I am still partially blinded and recovering)

82. Ron exploring his nose and a large (the size of a thumb nail) bloody (not the expression 'bloody', the real thing) booger. Worse than that, he sniffed it and thrust it into his mouth. Eww.

83. Croockshanks tackling Scabbers and eating his fresh poop (I ever let him lick me anymore)

84. My first ever copy of _Hogwarts a History_ in the toilet

85. A pink and blue Barbie tee shirt in "just my darling little size" (it was my Aunt, I was 15 at the time, I was also expected to wear that shirt on the train back to school. Have I mentioned I **hate **Christmas?)

86. Myself without hair (Malfoy is possibly the root of all evil)

87. Stupid bothersome Lav Lav and Won Won sitting at my library table snogging (Monday)

88. Stupid bothersome Dean and Seamus at my library table playing wizards' chess (Tuesday)

89. Stupid bothersome Seamus and Parvati having a huge fight (*coughloversspatcough*) at my library table (Wednesday)

90. Malfoy standing over my _new_ library table proclaiming it to be his (Thursday)

91. All my lovely books falling down several flights of stairs and off the edge while it moved (they fell all the way to the entrance hall, the poor dears)

92. wizarding posters (they move so much, makes me twitchy)

93. One of the Weasly twins (to this day I've no idea which) leaning in to kiss me (another product testing experience… lust potion… thank Merlin it was _only_ a kiss)

94. Trelawney teaching a sex-ed class (ick)

95. Malfoy sharing _our _(he says it's his, I say it's mine so we've agree to both call it "ours" in a really snide voice) table constantly

96. The book the good "Professor" used to teach said class (I may never look at boys the same again)

97. My face reflected in Luna's new reflector glasses (used to keep out the mind reading britdingers) as I realized that Draco Malfoy isn't a bad person after all

98. Draco standing at our table telling me we "need to talk" (I thought he was going to yell at me)

99. Harry and Ron arguing over what to do with all my "stupid books" after I die… I mean seriously, I was in the room!

100. The freaked-out look on Draco's face as I was too shocked to speak after he told me _it_

101. Ron and Harry's reaction after I told them about a certain someone and me

---------------4 Things I Could See Over and Over Till the End of Time and Never Enjoy Less------------

The Fall of Voldemort

Draco Malfoy telling me _it_

Draco asking me to date him

Draco's face when I said I love him too

A/N: Here it is… the amazing companion piece to 101 Things Draco Malfoy Wishes He'd Never Seen (and 3 That Really Rocked)… hope ya'll like it as well as you liked the first… please please please X10000 review – 1-83 were written by fanfictionator (go check her out, she's in my favorite authors) but, like all things even partially written by me, it hasn't been beta-ed yet… please forgive errors and I'll try to find a beta soon. Luv ya – Quik


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